The year that Qian Xin was born, we waited her birth with happiness. When I heard her first cry at birth, I was overwhelmed with love for her and I resolved to love her whole-heartedly.

Shortly after Qian Xin's birth, the doctor told me that she had a univentricular heart; that is only the valves of one side of her heart was functioning properly. At this news, my heart sank like a stone into a bottomless pit of sorrow. Qian Xin had to undergo immediate heart surgery. If this first surgery was successful, then she had to endure another operation at eighteen months and a third one at three years old.

At four days old, Qian Xin went in for her heart surgery. She developed high fever that night and had to undergo another operation. Thankfully, this second surgery was successful. Qian Xin's heart remained weak and due to her delicate condition we treated her with special care.

My mind was in such turmoil; I came to Than Hsiang Temple to find solace and joined in the Friday chanting of prayers in the hope that this would help elevate Qian Xin's sufferings. My poor child would struggle in my arms whenever she had to go for her follow up with the doctors. She had to endure so much suffering at such a tender age of a few months. I couldn't bear to see her suffer so, and I so wished I could replace her in her sufferings. I then realized what the Buddha meant when He said life is full of suffering.

On the morning of 2 September 2004 at 7.00am, eighteen-month old Qian Xin went in for her second round of corrective heart surgery. At 2.00pm she went into a coma and her heartbeat dropped dangerously low. In spite of remedial steps taken to bring her heartbeat back to normal, Qian Xin left me at 5.00pm. I scream and cried in anguish but couldn't bring her back from the palm of Yan Luo Wang (God of Death). She was so full of tubing inserted in her that the sight of her pierced my heart with anguish and deep sorrow like a sharp knife had wrenched itself into my heart. I held onto her cold lifeless hand and didn't want to let go. We only had her for eighteen months! We see now the real face of impermanence.

A few weeks before Qian Xin left me, I came across a booklet about the power of chanting the Mantra of Amitabha. I requested the chanting group of Than Hsiang Temple to chant this for Qian Xin, which they did. They also advised me keep her ashes in San Sheng Dian (columbarium), which was then under construction. The abbot of Than Hsiang Temple, Venerable Wei Wu, mercifully allowed me to temporarily keep her ashes downstairs till San Sheng Dian was fully completed. Qian Xin's ashes were the first to be installed in San Sheng Dian. Now Venerable Wei Wu would quote Qian Xin as an example whenever the Venerable talked about impermanence.

Sister Hui Chang encouraged me to be compassionate and spread my love for Qian Xin to others as well. She told me one of the ways I could do this was to volunteer my services at Than Hsiang. The merits gained by doing this good service could be transferred to my beloved daughter, Qian Xin; thus hopefully, she would be reborn in Amitabha's Pure Land and she may be blessed with a healthy body.

I give thanks to Qian Xin, for indirectly through her suffering, I learned how to practice Buddhism. Now both her father and mother take part in the Eight Precept Cultivation. Even her elder brother also joins in practicing Buddhism and it is hoped that he would improve in his spiritual wisdom.