Than Hsiang's Pu Men Pin Online Gong Xiu Dharma Sharing ( 25/07/2025 )

Teaching Assistant of International Buddhist College, Sis Wong Ping Ling shared on " A Buddhist Guide to Human Relations: 4 Ways of Winning People ".

In early Buddhist scriptures, the four ways of winning people were mentioned, and these were used by kings to please their subjects.

These four ways were later developed as the Bodhisattva practices together with the six perfections in Mahāyāna Buddhism. The four methods were recommended to guide and influence people to the Dharma and spiritual enlightenment.

In modern times, these four ways of winning people can be used to improve human relations based on compassion in our current society.

Now, let us look at the Four Ways of Winning People.

In Pāli, these four methods or four ways of winning people are called cattāri-saṃgaha-vatthūni (found in the Saṅgaha Sutta (AN 4.32) of the Aṅguttaranikāya), and known as Four Methods of Guidance/Attraction/Delighting/Influencing, or Four Bases of Community/Fellowship/Sympathy, or Four Ways of Sustaining a Favourable Relationship.

In the Saṅgaha Sutta (AN 4.32), it is said: “Bhikkhus, there are these four means of sustaining a favourable relationship. What four? Giving, endearing speech, beneficent conduct, and impartiality. These are the four means of sustaining a favourable relationship.” (from Bhikkhu Bodhi’s translation of the Aṅguttara Nikāya).

Besides this nikāya, these four methods of guidance or four ways of winning people are also found in the Mahāyāna sutras, for instance, the “Pañcaviṃśati-sāhasrikā-prajñāpāramitā sutra” 《摩诃般若波罗蜜经》or《大品般若经》.

So, let us look at the four methods of guidance or the four ways of winning people.

1. Giving 布施 (Dāna) ：

In giving, you can give material things - giving of money, possessions, food, medicine, etc., to those in need. For example, you can contribute money to the NGOs that provide food to the needy.

You can also share the Dharma (the Buddha’s teachings) with your colleagues, your subordinates, and even with your boss. You can share the Dharma because the Dharma benefits people, and it can lead to the cessation of suffering. You can also share knowledge, correct information, expertise, and experiences with others.

And the third one is the gift of fearlessness. If you maintain your five precepts (do not kill and do not harm people, do not steal, and so on), you are giving fearlessness to people. This is so because if you are someone who maintains your five precepts, your friend or your colleague will know that you will not harm them and they feel secure in your presence. When necessary, you can also give a sense of security, hope and confidence to others.

And what is the Function of Dāna or Giving?

To get rid of greed and selfishness. By sharing what you have with family, relatives, friends, and other people, it can lead to a harmonious and peaceful society. In addition, the government should also give to the needy so that there will be peace in society.

2. Kind Speech or Pleasant Speech 爱语 (Piyavācā)

The second method of sustaining a favourable relationship is to use kind and pleasant words as well as encouraging and supportive language. Of course, you must speak the truth.

In the Sutta Nipata 3.3, it is said: “Speak only the speech that neither torments self nor does harm to others. That speech is truly well spoken.

Speak only endearing speech, speech that is welcomed. Speech, when it brings no evil to others, is pleasant.”

Under this aspect, it also covers listening, that is, active listening. Pay attention to what the other person is saying and show empathy. Also, you must avoid harmful speech, that is, refraining from words that could hurt people like lying, slander, harsh words and frivolous talk.

3. Beneficial or Helpful Action 利行 (Atthacariyā)

The third way of winning people is to do good deeds – helping others with various tasks or chores. For instance, if you have a very old neighbour, you can help him repair his house or you can help him buy his groceries.

You can also offer help and find solutions to problems, for example, helping your colleagues to solve some work issues. You can also contribute to society by volunteering for community work.

4. Impartiality, Consistency, Participation 同事 (Samānattatā)

The fourth way of winning people is translated as impartiality, consistency or participation. Under this aspect, you are encouraged to work together with the people who are with you and under you to achieve a common objective. Also treat people equally, taking others as yourself, that is, behaving equitably towards all people. Act towards others the way we would like them to act towards us. All these will help to foster a sense of belonging and unity, leading to harmony.

Finally, as a member of the society we live in, these Four Ways of Winning People or the Four Methods of Guidance will help one to have success in life. It fosters harmony and understanding with the people around us. It helps one to cultivate compassion, empathy, and wisdom. It enables one to live a life that is in line with Buddhist teachings and values. By incorporating these practices in our daily lives, we can contribute to a more harmonious and peaceful society.

For more information, please browse https://youtu.be/ah07sgCsvmo

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